This post is all about dating in college!
Is Dating In College Worth It?
First things first, I’ll answer the most important question that everybody seems to be asking before heading into their freshman year at college:
Is dating in college a good idea?
And my answer to that is: YES!
HOWEVER! This doesn’t mean that you should dive headfirst into a relationship without thoroughly understanding yourself and what you want out of the relationship. You see, I am no relationship expert. But, I definitely have gotten myself into some unwanted situationships in college that freaking tore my heart apart (*this is kind of, but not really an exaggeration*) because I was naive and didn’t set my standards high enough.
As I’m writing this, I’m literally having flashbacks to all the cringe and super dumb mistakes I’ve made while dating in college. But you know what, it’s a lesson learned!
And this is why I think dating in college is worth it. In the process, you might have your heart broken a few times, and maybe even encounter true love. WHO KNOWS! But in the end, you’ll come out understanding yourself so much more, and be able to apply all the knowledge you’ve gained about dating into your future romantic experiences.
Related Post: Best Romantic and Deep Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend
How To Date In College?
Ok so now you’ve decided that you might want to give dating a try in college. You might be immediately troubled with a bunch of questions as such:
- How do I find my potential lover? On Dating Apps? On the street?
- What are some important things to look out for when filtering through all my candidates?
- I’m super shy, how do I attract the guys I like?
- How do I avoid falling for fuckboys?
- I’ve never been in a relationship. Is it too late to start dating in college?
Don’t worry y’all! I’ll answer all these burning questions up next!
10 Tips For Dating In College
1. Make Eye Contact & Put Yourself Out There
For all my introverted girls out there, I totally understand how scary it is to socialize in college. Especially as a freshman. But in order to start dating, you’ll have to begin by putting yourself out there instead of hiding in your dorm.
For example: Sitting at a communal table instead of in a tiny cube at the library. Or just making eye contact and smiling at the barista that you find cute!
It all starts with little things, and making yourself available to the abundant opportunities around you. If you’re living on campus, then you literally are surrounded by guys your age every single day! Trust me, with a little effort and courage, you can meet some amazing people!
2. DO NOT Compare Your Dating experience With Your Friends’
Everybody is different! And so never let your friends or anybody make you feel like you’re too late to the dating game.
Who says that you need to have a boyfriend before graduating from college? And who says that you NEED to have a boyfriend at all??
I just want all you beautiful gals to know that your college experience is not by any means defined by how many dates you’ve been on, or how many guys you’ve hooked up with. In college, you’ll hear TONS OF STORIES about romantic encounters that your friends experience. But please don’t let their dating life influence the way you feel about yourself.
Be happy for them, but don’t feel down just because you haven’t experienced it yet. Because trust me, you are amazing, and you WILL meet your person one day!
✅ I highly recommend checking out Her Campus’ Guide To College Life, which I think every freshman girl should read to learn about how to navigate the dating life in college!
3. Don’t Be Pressured Into Hooking Up
Hook up culture is super prevalent in college, and that’s just what it is. During my freshman year, I swear, almost every time I go to a party, there is always a bunch of people hooking up just for the sake of it.
As a college newbie, you might start thinking that: “Hey, since everyone’s doing it, maybe this is the new normal!”
As long as you have safe protection, then you do you boo. BUT, for girls that aren’t into the whole hook-up culture, please don’t let guys pressure you into doing stuff that you aren’t ready for.
If a guy doesn’t respect your decision, then simply walk away, do not entertain him. You have every right to say no!
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4. Know Your Boundaries & What You Want
How many times have you thrown your standards out the window just because the guy standing in front of you is HOT AF? I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve made this mistake. YIKES
Do not let their flawless appearance blind you! I repeat!! DO NOT let their soul-penetrating and mesmerizing gaze wipe out your common sense!
Before even entering the dating scene in college, write down a list of things that you will not compromise on, and a list of characteristics that you look for in a guy.
And when you go on a date with this person, make sure to really get to know him and ask questions, so that if any red flags or sketchy behavior were to show up, you can get out ASAP before falling in too deep.
5. Lower Your Expectations
What is the key to not being disappointed or getting your feelings hurt while dating in college?
DO NOT HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS (I know that’s kind of impossible) So, at least, don’t hype up your imagination and expect to get married to this guy you just met at a party.
When you develop incredibly high expectations for a future romantic scenario that hasn’t arrived yet, you’re setting yourself up for a potentially painful heartbreak. And I think we’ve all experienced this before. A.K.A., experiencing heartbreak after our crush decides to start dating a person that’s not us. Like…. WTF! I thought we were going to get married and have a family!!!
To sum it up. You can get butterflies in your stomach, but don’t let them fly all the way up to your head.
6. Don’t Mistake Their Attention For Love
We should all ask ourselves this: “Do I really like him, or do I just like the amount of attention he gives me?”
We all love, crave, and seek attention. That’s human nature! The scary thing is that when we receive attention in the dating world, we tend to have a hard time differentiating it from genuine interest.
Especially when we’ve been single for God knows how long, and this man finally pops into our life, providing us all the attention we’ve been craving for. And we just absolutely love it!
But here comes the question, what is the “it” that we love? Him or the attention? DUN DUN DUNNNN.
7. Don’t Let Rejections Alter The Way You View Yourself
I know this is hard, because rejections are soooo painful. Sometimes, I feel like they hurt just as much as actual heartbreaks.
In college, you might face rejections here and there, especially if you’re super active in the dating scene.
And it’s important to understand that other people’s perception of you does not define who you are! So what, this guy might not be attracted to you, or he might not find you interesting. BUT THAT’S ON HIM! NOT YOU. That is his subjective opinion of you, and not the objective truth.
Ultimately, your worth is set by you, and not a random guy at school.
For more tips on how to not be afraid of rejections, check out Henrik’s article on How To Get Over Rejection
8. Avoid Fuckboys If Your Intention Is To Find A Relationship
Fuckboys are charismatic, hard to predict, and for this reason, lowkey attractive, and addictive. I’ll even dare to say that fuckboys are a drug that will make you question your entire existence. No joke.
They will make you fall deeply in love by feeding you sweet things that you want to hear. Then, literally out of nowhere, pull the rug right under you, and leave you confused, depressed, and weirdly craving for more?!
Having your heart broken by a fuckboy in college is possibly the worst thing ever. Trying to get over this douchebag meanwhile also trying not to drown in all your schoolwork. Ugh, I’ve been there, done that. And will never wish this on anybody.
So yea, nope. Please don’t make yourself go through this. You deserve so MUCH better.
And this is how to tell that the guy you’re dating might be a fuckboy
9. Don’t Overindulge In Dating Apps
I know, ever since the pandemic hit, dating apps have almost become the ONLY way to meet anyone.
But I’m hopeful that things will get back to normal in the near future and all college students can return to campus and socialize with each other in person.
Of course, dating apps are a great way to meet potential partners, but don’t let that be the only way! You can join clubs, talk to the guys in your class, make conversations with people that live in your dorm. Make use of the networking opportunities at school!
Even if you don’t end up finding any romantic partners, you’ll at least gain a bunch of new connections and friendships.
10. Be Open To Love
Last but not least, be open to falling in love.
Let finding love in college be a possibility. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and know that you deserve to be loved.
In college, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to our peers, whether it’s academically or romantically. Remember, just because this girl in your class has an amazing boyfriend and a 4.0 GPA, doesn’t mean that she’s more worthy than you.
Know your worth. And be open to receiving the abundance of love that is already out there for you.
There You Have It! A Guide To Dating In College
Hopefully, this guide to dating in college was helpful to you! Go and meet new people, explore different options, have fun, and ultimately, get to know yourself throughout this process.
Be aware, but don’t be too afraid of making mistakes. Let dating in college be an experience that can transform you into a wiser person! And maybe one day, you’ll have some crazy love stories to tell.